New Super-dense Element Announced: BUSHCRONIUM--SYMBOL IS
“W.”
Discovery of the densest element yet known to
science was announced today by the Lawrence Livermore Labs. The new element has
been named “Bushcronium.” Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant
neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an
atomic mass of 311. These particles are held together by dark forces called
morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons.
Bushcronium’s mass actually increases
over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere
and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming
isodopes.
This characteristic of
moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed
whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical
quantity is referred to as “Critical
Morass”.
When catalyzed by cash,
Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude
more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has only half as many peons
but twice as many morons.
At present there is
no apparent usefulness for this new addition to the periodic table of the
elements.
Posted: Fri - June 1, 2007 at 07:23 PM