Sher-ruff of Venice
The Law End Force
Human
by
Calvin
Pirate Tanker Rams Rocks
on Venice Beach
Flying the
skull and crossbones the renegade tanker Capsicum Mistress, piloted by its
Captain and owner Casper Capasium has been intentionally grounded on Venice
Beach California. The rusted hull of the tramp tanker moaned and twisted as it
broke open, spilling millions of gallons of raw hot pepper concentrated extract
into the surf. Pasha Peperonia a Corsican national who is thought to be the
captains girlfriend was seen jumping off the bow of the ship.
A local surfer Randy Waterwalrus
rescued her from the foamy peppery milkshake that was frothing around the ship.
Captain C. Capasium dove from the bridge into a large breaking wave and body
surfed into a local bar on the Venice Beach boardwalk. Captain Capasium drank
two large bottles of hot sauce and then turned himself in to the Sher ruff.
Sobbing, he admitted to being an international capsicum smuggler. He also
confessed to having been the cause of thousands of good people around the world
crying their eyeballs out after having been sprayed by his illicit product. The
Captain offered to make restitution and promised never to have anything to do
with concentrated pepper extract in the
future.
His scruffy crewmembers had
taken to the lifeboats or jumped into the foamy peppery broth, swimming to the
beach. Pasha Peperonia then began singing the ancient pirate ballad (Port Royal)
yo ho ho lets snort some pure capsicum. The ships crew’s noses and
eyeballs where a brilliant moist red from the long nights spent in the captains
cabin snorting pure capsicum extract As the surf pounded the rocks off Venice
Beach a moist cloud of pepper spray and salt water vapours drifted up Windward
Ave.
A prison bus full of
Arab-looking detainees heading towards the INS detention center on an island
near San Pedro. The eyes of the driver of the prison bus started to tear and the
guard in the back of the bus started to weep. On the other side of the globe the
hot pepper crops are ripening in the fields and a new capsicum extract is being
distilled. A voice from the back of the bus
screamed.
Cry baby
cry
Posted: Wed - January 1, 2003 at 08:47 PM